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In Which I'm Not In A Good Mood.

I'm not really in a good mood right now. In fact, I really feel like the bad word for "crap"...the one that just "happens". I'm hating what I see in the mirror. My clothes don't seem to fit right - they are all too big, too small, and just unfashionable. My hair is a mess. The only thing I can do with it is to pull it back in that stupid pony tale, which just makes me look like Hurley from Lost. Ray can't say anything without throwing me over the edge into tears or a rage of anger. Sometimes both. Mostly both. I would like nothing more than to curl up in a tiny ball on my bed and stay there for...well forever! Also there's the occasional cramping, bloating, and nausea.

 This smells suspiciously of PMS.  I hate PMS. One of my favorite things about pregnancy is the lack of PMS. I hate being on birth control. I don't know what's real (I mean in terms of my emotions. I know Brooklyn, Grayson, and Madi are real. White Collar and Drop Dead Diva are not.).

 If I could paint a picture with words for how I am feeling, I would say that I am treading water in the middle of a very deep, creature-free, lake. I'm not too concerned with getting to the shore. I just want to keep my head above water. 

 How is that for dramatic? 

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