Once upon a time, I happened upon a job that I liked. Initially I took a "no thought required" job in payroll, and within a short amount of time was promoted to a leadership position in Human Resources. I liked the work (even if the company made me crazy) and I think I was good at it. In it I saw possibilities for my future, places I could grow to. In addition to the regular paycheck and benefits, I received a very regular boost to my self-esteem in the form of well received completed tasks and accolades from co-workers and superiors alike.
I left that job 10 months ago and my new job is much, much harder. I have greater responsibility, the hours are worse, the money is not as good, and I don't get those pats on the back, at least not as often as I used to.
Sometimes I miss HR. I was miserable at that job, don't get me wrong. But sometimes I miss the clear cut expectations, the rules that were easy to follow, and the sense that I was doing something right with immediate payoff.
I don't feel like I'm very good at my job right now. The challenges are bigger than my capabilities and I am struggling against overwhelming discouragement. But hands down, I am happier now as a stay at home mom of 2 1/2 kids than I ever was as Associate Resources Coordinator. The jobs are so very different. At home, even though it's home, I am constantly pulled out of my comfort zone, and the stakes are way higher. At Shepard, I spent most of my time managing day to day issues, hoping and looking for every little opportunity to make an impact on the long term future of the company. At home, everything I do -- be it folding the laundry, organizing the budget, or playing games with my kids -- is about developing the future.
It's humbling to think about it like that. So even though I am discouraged right now (which, if I'm being honest, has more to do with some external things than actual parenting) and there are things about my old job that I miss, I think I'll keep my new job.
It really is a much better fit.
I left that job 10 months ago and my new job is much, much harder. I have greater responsibility, the hours are worse, the money is not as good, and I don't get those pats on the back, at least not as often as I used to.
Sometimes I miss HR. I was miserable at that job, don't get me wrong. But sometimes I miss the clear cut expectations, the rules that were easy to follow, and the sense that I was doing something right with immediate payoff.
I don't feel like I'm very good at my job right now. The challenges are bigger than my capabilities and I am struggling against overwhelming discouragement. But hands down, I am happier now as a stay at home mom of 2 1/2 kids than I ever was as Associate Resources Coordinator. The jobs are so very different. At home, even though it's home, I am constantly pulled out of my comfort zone, and the stakes are way higher. At Shepard, I spent most of my time managing day to day issues, hoping and looking for every little opportunity to make an impact on the long term future of the company. At home, everything I do -- be it folding the laundry, organizing the budget, or playing games with my kids -- is about developing the future.
It's humbling to think about it like that. So even though I am discouraged right now (which, if I'm being honest, has more to do with some external things than actual parenting) and there are things about my old job that I miss, I think I'll keep my new job.
It really is a much better fit.
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