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In Which We Enjoy the Verses

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.
Isaiah 40:11 (NIV) 

 I can't help but chuckle over the tender ways God deals with me. 

 It is not easy to describe what has been going on in my heart and head, but I suppose the best way is to say that so many of my dreams have come true or changed that I don't quite know what to dream about anymore. I know that sounds ridiculously hopeless which is not at all how I mean it because I know I have so much life to look forward to. I guess it's just in the vein of personal development...soul nourishment...what is my place outside of wife and mother?  I could go into a lot more detail here, but for now I think I'll leave it and just say that I have questions and I've been seeking the Lord about them.

 So then there is Grayson. Sweet, tenacious, four year old, control-freak Grayson. All of my children like plans, but Grayson really pushes to know the details. If it's 7:30 at night and I say no to a snack right before bed, he is okay so long as he knows that for breakfast tomorrow we will have eggs or toast or whatever. We keep a pretty regular bedtime routine, varied enough to not suffocate the freewheeling parents but consistent enough that the kids know what to expect. No matter what variations may be present, the routine ALWAYS includes tucking in with songs and kisses. Still, every night when it's time to actually get in bed, Grayson asks (loudly) CAN YOU COME TUCK ME IN AND SING ME A SONG AND RUB MY BACK? Every time. 

 His favorite song is Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Twinkle Twinkle is acceptable if I'm not feeling well. Over the holidays I tried introducing some Christmas carols to the mix. Did I mention he likes the control? The first time I sang Silent Night, I sang all four verses. He could not enjoy the song because he was so concerned with how long I was going to be singing! 

 Do you see where I'm going with this? He gets so wrapped up in knowing all the details...what's coming next and why and how...that he misses the blessing of what's happening in the moment. 

 I am a wife and a mother and God is still nurturing me and I will bear fruit in His time. Meanwhile, I also have plants to tend to so that they will bear fruit in His time.  Right now that means lots of ordinary and I don't know what it's going to look like down the road. If I'm being honest, I am like Grayson, so focused on the end of the song that I can't enjoy the verses. But last night when I sang his favorite song, Grayson relaxed with such a look of peace on his face. In that moment God reminded me that right now it's okay to enjoy the verses.        
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  1. MelodyJanuary 15, 2016 at 11:07 AM

    I like how God uses our children to gently talk to us! Great observation 😊

    ReplyDelete

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