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In Which I Get A Little Real

I am too depressed to blog. I have dozens of ideas in the back of my mind, even notes that I've put on my phone so I can remember them later. Great things - updates on what we're doing, Halloween and homeschooling conundrums, parenting anecdotes, scripture insights and questions, marriage stuff, and some really great thoughts on art and theater and that whole cultural conversation. But honestly, by the time I get around to actually writing any of them, the pop culture references or holiday season they fall in will probably be irrelevant. 

 Is it possible for postpartum to hit as much as four months after birth? 

 I'm also tired. Even on my best days of great preparation and planning my life seems to move from one interruption to the next. I think I'm getting better at seizing moments, but sometimes I don't know how anything is getting done at all. If it weren't for my smart phone and wi-fi, I don't think I would be in communication with anyone outside my house. 

 When things get quiet, when I start to think ahead to my next task or project or whatever, that's when it hits. A heavy darkness in my heart. I feel physically weighed down. I'm having trouble enjoying myself. On our last date night... the pumpkin patch... and even Boo at the Zoo, it's like I was able to turn it on enough to get through it, but couldn't really relax and have a good time. 

 The kids are happy and healthy. I know when we look back on these times we will remember not only the fun things we did, but enjoying one another as we built memories. I have good people in my life who know what I'm struggling with and are helping me cope. 

 This too shall pass...blessed be the Name of the Lord.

Comments

  1. MelodyNovember 4, 2012 at 5:51 AM

    To answer your question, yes, postpartum can hit 4 months into "it". Praying for you. You are an awesome mother and are raising wonderful children!

    ReplyDelete

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